life as i knew it; changed forever.

I was nineteen fresh out of high school and living the typical just graduated party life. Well three months later i’m pregnant. In all honesty i was disgusted in myself. How could I be so stupid: just a kid myself never mind the fact i was just starting a new chapter in life. But guess what? None of that mattered anymore because it was a done deal; i made my bed so i had to lay in it.

Being pregnant was so uncomfortable. I’m rather short and small and then one day i couldn’t even see my feet. If i sat down the struggle was real when i tried to get back up. Being pregnant creeped me out in a fascinating way.. like there was a human growing inside me. It almost didn’t seem real. I carried on with my normal life minus partying and can tell you my pregnancy was a smooth ride; blessed be.

With my due date around the corner and not knowing what to expect my nerves were getting the best of me. I didn’t know how to know if i was in labor or if my water broke and i would stress myself if i didn’t find something to occupy my mind with. So i began cleaning up a storm for a few days. And yes now i know that is called “nesting” and some do that before they go into labor..like me!

Well long story short, i stop by my friends house to visit and her mom was staring at me so finally i’m like “can i help you?” Come to find out those breath taking stomach/back pains were actually contractions and i was in labor; i had been for two days or so. My friends mom insisted i go home and then straight to the hospital. I was thinking she was nuts like hello! i have to cook dinner and feed my animals first.

I went home cooked dinner for fathers day, kept my cool didn’t mention i was in labor, brought hay and grain to my horse and goats and the calmly went inside told Cody (my love and yes baby daddy) we had to go.

The closer we got to the hospital the more nervous i got. I’m like shit this thing has to come out of…”oh boy” and the stress was coming on. My labor pains were in my lower back and intense and i choose to do all natural birth so i was not calm one bit i think i scared the other women on the floor with my screaming.

After ten hours of labor and fifteen minutes (they called me super woman because it was my first birth and i did so well and quick) of pushing:  at 5:45 am on June 18 2013 i gave  birth to a healthy young man; Waylon. Well when they put him on my chest “bondIng” i was speechless and emotional as ever; i believe in love at first sight ever since that moment.

Waylon is my entire world now. Im now twenty one and a full time mom, not part time like most young moms. I created him. He didnt ask to be born so its my duty to love him and care for him and it came natural. Giving up my social life; it was easy with all the new commotion i 100% committed myself to.

Not an easy journey especially when you have no role models or experience but it comes natural and is awesome to experience. Waylon is sixteen months now. CRAZY. Time flies and i haven’t missed much of his life and i hope he one day he appreciates and understands  that i being young mom and all did and do all i can to LOVE and guide him through this crazy world!

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